you ruined my life thus far. i hate you yet i love you. you're like an addiction. i cant get you outta my head. i miss you. i want to see you badly yet im sure you dont. you dont care. you dont give a damn if i lived or died. afterall, it doesnt hurt you at all. just me.... only me.................

chrismas is almost over........ now on to TDA this saturday. omg really cant wait! XD
think imma head down to Atsuki tml after work to see whats for sale then(omg im a kiasu). hope uncle pang will be there. o-o

happy christmas eve!!!!! ^~^ ahhhhh.... just had my grandma's christmas dinner and it was gooddddd................. ~me ish happy bunny~ sadly, i dont think i have anything to do tml on christmas itself. T_T does anyone wants to go out wif me? 0_0
ohoh!!!!!! i cant wait for TDA! ^^ reverie too. my poor dear needs some new clothes. hope i can get some proper punk apparels for her, somehow i dont think she likes wearing flowery flowy clothing thou she never told me so(hmmm, i better ask her XD). she's a tough one at heart that girl <3
think im gonna pei my darling gerger now. been sorta neglecting her cos of all the christmas preparations and dinner itself. nowonder she looked so sulky when i took her pictures just now. kk... im off now. bb!^^

ok. this came a little late. but im bored now and have nothing better to do, so yea. Atsuki's lolita and bjd fashion show pics from project breakout. God i swear i look so horribly wrong in so many ways. the light was freaking blinding my eyes so i looked sleepy in almost every pic. and i just realized ive gotten fatter. damned my chubby face. =.='''

~the gerger i was carrying <3~

~more pictures! ~

mika's so pretty and sochii so shuai!!! XD sadly i didnt get the chance to take pics with the rest. =(

oh well, thats all of them. was an exciting experience all in all. two of my sets had to change as one was missing and the other spoilt, not eating much for fear of puking up everything on stage, getting an aging taitai hairstyle, clothes zip that refuses to open, lacklustre poses and noobish modelling skills and spectacular eye blinding lighting in your face. yep, i say thats all pretty fun. ^^

(credits go to all the photogs that took these pictures ^^)

omg... i cant believe i woke up late for work the second time this week! i swear my boss is so gonna fire me if this keeps up. T_T i woke up at like 7something yesterday, and after telling myself ill wake up on time for today, i woke at a freaking 840!!! =.=''' yet again..... its my alarm clock's fault. OwO had to pretend i was still sick from yesterday's sickness(its a lie! XD) thats why im writing this so early. the rain from the night before has not stopped. funny thing december here is always so rainy. i much prefer snow. >.<

you wished me when i thought you didnt care.
how i wish i really know if you can care deeper..........................

so near yet so far
a blood red rose in a bell jar
yearning to feel the soft tenderness of your silky eaves
and the taunting brush of your velvet petals
i am unworthy of thy stunning beauty
yet my heart shamefully longs for you
oh! my pinning soul yearns for the day you'll grace me with thy dewy droplets
and pray thy petals blossoms radiant upon mine
in my reverie of our vines intertwine and thy petals touching mine.

lovera

finally reviving my long dead thread. funny thing this is started today my b'day of all days. i guess its cos for the pass few weeks i had the urge to go back to keeping a journal but my life have been quite hectic so i postponed it for god knows how long.
i guess its only times like these when i feel especially low and depressed that having a place to pour out the feelings seem so much more tempting. yup, i dont know why im feeling like this but im guessing its pretty much to do with her. tell me, why do i always go courting trouble for myself? i guess it always hurts no one but me and me alone............